I bet you can't guess what place I'm talking about! Go on, take a gander.
I know, it's hard.
Just have a guess!
What could it possibly be?
ST. LOUIS!?!?!?! WHAT?!?!? I bet you didn't see that one coming. Try to contain your puzzlement as you read further.
In honor of my city's 250th Birthvalentine's Day I'm going to inaugurate this blaaahhhhg with a love letter to St. Louis in the form of a list (inspired by masterbloggerlister Erica "Wherica?" Hendry) of reasons why it is the most romantic city in the world (or at least in Missouri, which is a state known first and foremost for kindling the tenderest of feelings in lovebirds across the country).
Wunderbar! SO! HERE GOES!
1. This is pretty clear but worth pointing out multiple times! It's birthday (her birthday? I never know about city genders. It's a social construct anyway.) is Valentine's Day.
Obviously STL's founders Laclede & Chouteau had an appreciation for sweeping romantic gestures. If only modern declarations of love could be so enduring. On the other hand I've heard that all the cool kids are naming stars these days. And stars live really, really long. You have to make a tough choice between size and longevity, though: a small star like our sun will live 10 billion years while one 20x bigger will live only 10 million! (Many thx to the 7 year old who asked a NASA astrophysicist this question. Good to know my questions about outer space are the same ones that second graders contemplate.) Personally I'd go with a smaller but more abiding one. You don't want to risk anyone thinking you're afraid of commitment, do you???
[Full disclosure: apparently co-founder Auguste Chouteau was only FOURTEEN years old when this whole STL shebang got started and the dates in his memoir are less than legible. So it could possibly be the 15th of February but that's no fun at all. BIRTHVALENTINE'S DAY FOREVER)
2. Nelly, "It's Getting Hot in Here."
Most locals interpret this song by native StLoser Nelly as a tribute to St. Louis in the summertime. (Disclaimer: This is literally only my interpretation. No other St. Louisans have been consulted on the matter.) It probably should've been "It's Getting Humid in Here" because it's really not the heat. It's the humidity.
3. The City is shaped like a human heart. Kinda.
Haha! Gross. Cute aorta tho right?
4. Imo's extra large 16" St. Louis style pizza with two toppings is a great deal and the perfect size for two.
Trust me on this one please. On average when I'm home I eat roughly 1 whole XL Imo's pizza per visit along with my bestie. Some smart St. Louisan decided to top off that wonderful pie with St. Louis' personal wonder cheese: Provel (a unique blend of Swiss, provolone, and cheddar! Wow!), whose letters conveniently rearrange to spell "P-Lover." Coincidence? YOU be the judge. (But please don't judge the cheese. I've literally never met a person from outside STL who likes it.)
5. St. Louisans always come home.
The second most St. Louis thing to do is to leave St. Louis. And the first most St. Louis thing to do (other than eat an entire Imo's pizza while watching a Cardinals game) is to come back to St. Louis after leaving. I know what you all are thinking: OMG! That is just like what happens in critically acclaimed romance film The Notebook! And yes, friends, you are right. The average St. Louisan's relationship with their city is on par with the greatest love story ever told. In this situation St. Louis is Ryan Gosling and the city's residents are Rachel McAdams: Rachel McAdams leaves, bla bla, Ryan Gosling sends her 365 letters, Rachel McAdams never gets them and falls in love with another man (Chicago? NYC? San Francisco??) but upon returning to Ryan Gosling's old house realizes she's never stopped loving St. Louis. I'm tearing up right now.
If you're not convinced, just read what these world famous writers have to say about my wonderful city! It's pretty clear how lovable St. Louis was to them:
"The first time I ever saw St. Louis, I would have bought it for six million dollars, and it was the mistake of my life that I did not do it." -Mark Twain (d'aww! Love you too MT!)
"I find St. Louisans cold, smug, complacent, intolerant, stupid, and provincial. I hate the place."
-Tennessee Williams (Oh wait. Who even cares about Tennessee Williams anyway.)
P.S. Mark Twain also had some great stuff to say about the city I'll call home for the next 6 months:
"Berlin's death rate is only nineteen in the thousand." -Mark Twain (The Chicago of Europe, 1892)
Amazing! I'm so excited!
1. This is pretty clear but worth pointing out multiple times! It's birthday (her birthday? I never know about city genders. It's a social construct anyway.) is Valentine's Day.
Obviously STL's founders Laclede & Chouteau had an appreciation for sweeping romantic gestures. If only modern declarations of love could be so enduring. On the other hand I've heard that all the cool kids are naming stars these days. And stars live really, really long. You have to make a tough choice between size and longevity, though: a small star like our sun will live 10 billion years while one 20x bigger will live only 10 million! (Many thx to the 7 year old who asked a NASA astrophysicist this question. Good to know my questions about outer space are the same ones that second graders contemplate.) Personally I'd go with a smaller but more abiding one. You don't want to risk anyone thinking you're afraid of commitment, do you???
[Full disclosure: apparently co-founder Auguste Chouteau was only FOURTEEN years old when this whole STL shebang got started and the dates in his memoir are less than legible. So it could possibly be the 15th of February but that's no fun at all. BIRTHVALENTINE'S DAY FOREVER)
2. Nelly, "It's Getting Hot in Here."
Most locals interpret this song by native StLoser Nelly as a tribute to St. Louis in the summertime. (Disclaimer: This is literally only my interpretation. No other St. Louisans have been consulted on the matter.) It probably should've been "It's Getting Humid in Here" because it's really not the heat. It's the humidity.
3. The City is shaped like a human heart. Kinda.
Haha! Gross. Cute aorta tho right?
4. Imo's extra large 16" St. Louis style pizza with two toppings is a great deal and the perfect size for two.
Trust me on this one please. On average when I'm home I eat roughly 1 whole XL Imo's pizza per visit along with my bestie. Some smart St. Louisan decided to top off that wonderful pie with St. Louis' personal wonder cheese: Provel (a unique blend of Swiss, provolone, and cheddar! Wow!), whose letters conveniently rearrange to spell "P-Lover." Coincidence? YOU be the judge. (But please don't judge the cheese. I've literally never met a person from outside STL who likes it.)
5. St. Louisans always come home.
The second most St. Louis thing to do is to leave St. Louis. And the first most St. Louis thing to do (other than eat an entire Imo's pizza while watching a Cardinals game) is to come back to St. Louis after leaving. I know what you all are thinking: OMG! That is just like what happens in critically acclaimed romance film The Notebook! And yes, friends, you are right. The average St. Louisan's relationship with their city is on par with the greatest love story ever told. In this situation St. Louis is Ryan Gosling and the city's residents are Rachel McAdams: Rachel McAdams leaves, bla bla, Ryan Gosling sends her 365 letters, Rachel McAdams never gets them and falls in love with another man (Chicago? NYC? San Francisco??) but upon returning to Ryan Gosling's old house realizes she's never stopped loving St. Louis. I'm tearing up right now.
If you're not convinced, just read what these world famous writers have to say about my wonderful city! It's pretty clear how lovable St. Louis was to them:
"The first time I ever saw St. Louis, I would have bought it for six million dollars, and it was the mistake of my life that I did not do it." -Mark Twain (d'aww! Love you too MT!)
"I find St. Louisans cold, smug, complacent, intolerant, stupid, and provincial. I hate the place."
-Tennessee Williams (Oh wait. Who even cares about Tennessee Williams anyway.)
P.S. Mark Twain also had some great stuff to say about the city I'll call home for the next 6 months:
"Berlin's death rate is only nineteen in the thousand." -Mark Twain (The Chicago of Europe, 1892)
Amazing! I'm so excited!
